Why following sports is asinine

2009-08-14T06:15:00.000-07:00

I shouldn’t be a sports fan.

Don’t get me wrong; I love sports. Sports dominate my life. Day after day, I choose to obsess over this stat, that story, another rumor.

On a given day, I’ll spend more time following sports than I will eating, driving, working out, reading, or worrying. Combined.

And therein lays the problem.

I love sports for its domination of my time and passion. It’s a wonderful time-sink that draws the interest of men to a degree only matched by attractive women. But with passion comes pain, and sports was created for the purpose of punishing its clientele. In a given year, 30ish teams all strive for the same goal. The best of these teams routinely lose 40% of their games. The worst will drive their fans to blissful indifference; a fate which many fans from Group A would kill for. Because the attrition rate is 97%. Teams go into every year with a 3% chance of emerging from it satisfied. What is it that plausibly brings us, as sports fans, back to this curse form of entertainment? It's masochistic.

Alas, sports has become something we, the people, cannot do without. Man needs several essential things to facilitate his existence; Food, shelter, procreation, and sports. The obsession with professional athletics has become more taxing on today's man than drugs, alcohol, and Youtube. Bottom line? It's not going away, and I'll continue to burn dozens of hours a week on this pursuit, as it seems to be irrevocably and irresistibly hardwired into my DNA.

To keep me sane, however, I'm also going to pontificate on various sundry matters which may or may not excite you, but stimulate me. It may drive some of you away, it may be nothing more than profanity and giggles for me, but why not? I'm an absentminded sort of guy whose train of thoughts zooms all around the countryside, forgoing rails completely. If you're not pleased with it, go do things to yourself.

An Excercise in Digression

Why following sports is asinine